My mobile phone is driving me nuts! It's destroying my life.
I've got my mobile fixed on this 'call back' feature, you know the 'call back'; where you ring someone and if it's engaged it just keeps dialling for you. I can't switch this feature off on my mobile, because...well, because I can't...and that's why my phone...well if you must know, my phone is, well it's stuck in Greek..now. Which can happen!
It's a new phone and I was looking at what it could do... an' I'm looking to....."Ah! That's good. Languages! Select...look at all those languages I've got! Greek! I wonder what my friends' names would look like in Greek? That might look pretty good. Select"
....OOO....Everything in Greek straightaway!!! No warning. No second chance. “Jack are you sure you wanna do this? Do you wanna sleep on it? Come back to me tomorrow...we'll still do it if you really want to.”
Everything is in Greek! I can't get it back into English 'cos I can't read Greek! My best bet now is to take my mobile phone round the corner to one the Greek restaurants, befriend the owner...”Stavros, I've had an enjoyable evening, I was wondering if I talk to you for a couple of minutes about my mobile phone.”
Either that, or just take it back and explain..."Look, look, see what my kids have done to the phone, uh!"
Well, you do that, you know, with the 'call back' thing. You, you ring someone. It's engaged, so you think 'Screw them!', you know...I'm never gonna bother ringing them again. If they've got other people they're busy talking to them, bollocks to them! I'm not gonna....I'd eradicate their name. If I could read Greek, I'd do it NOW!' You forget all about it, you forget all about it. You put the phone in your pocket. But your phone doesn't forget about it! Your phone takes it upon itself to keep dialling! About 20 minutes later, you're doing something completely different...completely forgotten about trying to ring this guy. Your phone rings! Well there's only one thing I understand about a phone that is ringing. Someone is calling me. So you answer it and...it's like a conversation between two mental patients!
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Yes, who is that?"
"Who is that?"
"Well, you tell me. You rang me."
"No I never! You rang me!"
"No I didn't. You rang me!"
You know what? I don't want that from my phone. I don't want my phone making decisions for me, taking initiatives. I don't want that...before you know it, it will ringing people it thinks I should call up. "Well he hasn't spoken to his mother for a couple of weeks. Let's get her on the line now."